Sorry, I dont have any funny stories or pictures today. Im really just being random and writing down thoughts that are racing though my head so bear with me. It's a hard thing to figure out. This whole Christian bit. Believing in a God who can't be touched, cant be seen, cant really be heard. We have lots of "testimonies" of ppl turning their lives around and families receiving random checks the day before they were gonna get evicted. And its God...
But whats to say it's Him? What's to say this whole time this idea hasn't been passed down from generation to generation. I mean while some of the most wonderful things have been done in the "name of Jesus" some of the most heinous acts have been committed in the same name. Is it ust one big mind game? People find comfort in so many things. Is it ust that somehow we found peace in this idea and for some of us its bigger than others.
I have lots of christian friends and lots of non-christian friends. Some of the non-christian friends act more like a "christian" as the world sees it then some of the professing Christians in my life. So why? Why in the end will the nice guy go to the fire forever and the other guy get a mansion? Why will the judgmental legalist who sits at home and reads his bible all day but does nothing for anyone outside of his family get all these rubies but the one who opens 15 orphanages but denies this idea of God gets the cold torturing dungeon? These are legit questions right?
These are questions I've had my entire life. Growing up I was taught a certain thing and it sounded right so I believed it. BTW, I don't want anyone thinking this is a slam against my parents. Every parent will teach there children as well as they can and my parents did just that. No brainwashing involved. We don't agree on everything. They taught what they believed and prayed that I would see that i wasn't just a random blob of nothing but that i was indeed created for something. We are all in some way, to different degrees "products of our environment".
So now the question is asked. If this is what I was born into then am I held to a different set of standards than anyone else? What are standards? What are morals?
To answer the questions of who goes here and who goes there after you die you have to set some foundations. So we have to ask more questions....aint that the way it goes.
What I can never get past is this. Why am I here? Where did I come from? Am i just a mass? What about that thing we call a soul? Where did it come from and where is it going?
If I came from nothing then in all reality am I meant for anything? If I'm not meant for anything then why the hell would I ever do anything for anyone else? I only have 60 years left...if im lucky. So why not make sure this whole thing works out for one person.....me.
If this conclusion is wrong then please tell me. If we have weren't created and this whole thing is just random then why morals? where did those come from? All the sudden as our monkey brains turned into human brains we started to think that certain things were wrong? Did a few monkey men get together and finally put and end to killing so that to this day we follow that undeniable law that killing someone is "immoral". Doesn't there have to be someone or something that not only created us but also created moral law? Why would I feel bad about anything? why wouldn't I steal? why wouldn't I sleep around? You can go deep and dark and without a moral law giver there is no line. Everyone makes their own and if the majority of the populous says it ok well then....its ok?
There has to be something bigger. There has to be creator. The bible does have an answer that we were created by a God who does indeed love his creation. He gave us the choice and we chose to rebel. He didn't make us. We chose it. He gives us the choice every day to make the right or wrong decision. He tells us for the most part what right and wrong is. That's the basic answer and it goes a million times deeper than that but even with that....doesn't it make sense?
I don't know who is going to heaven and who is going to hell. If you don't have any relationship with Him and think that you'll take care of eternity yourself I would bet your chances of the pearly gates are slim to none. He is perfect...He knows.
The tough questions are still there at times and I think everyone knows its healthy to know why you believe what you believe. Ask those Q's. Challenge your heart. It's certainly clear that to me that I am, for sure, created. Im not a random thing that's gonna die and decompose. My soul is real and it has an eternal future. I feel like I could go on and on.
I'm so grateful that he does accept me where I'm at. It sucks to have serious struggles that you never used to deal with. The great thing is that when your relationship with Him is real He pushes you to get past your current state into bigger and better things. It's sweet.
This is a cool vid that if you have 5 more minutes you should watch.
This is a cool vid that if you have 5 more minutes you should watch.
Love y'all
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